The scandal keeps going and going and going and it seems it will never end. I wake up each day, watch the news and I see new and fresh allegations against powerful people and not only them, it’s starting to spread amongst all the walks of life. And ok, it’s a good thing in the end that people are talking about the problem. I will not go into all the other things we have to be careful about, since I have already published all sorts of articles on the subject. But there is still one thing that bugs me to no end and I have to say something about it. The most dangerous effect of this #meetoo campaign will be changing the perception on what sexual harassment means.
Not everything is sexual harassment. Not every single proposal or gesture a man makes towards a woman is sexual harassment. Teaching young males that everything they say can be considered sexual harassment will emasculate them. We will end up with a society of castrated males that are afraid to do anything and that is a horror scenario in my mind. Now I am not saying that people should abuse women or harass them, but at the same time a little bit of insistence and a play on the yes or no stances are at the very foundations of flirting. So please, stop equating everything with an abuse, because that is simply not the case.
If men would just give up at the first no a woman utters, there would be a lot less love stories in the world. Because different types of courtships apply to different types of persons. I know personally a lot of women who say no a couple of times when a guy proposes things to them, simply because they want to make him work and see that he is really interested. Is it wrong? No, because it is their way of doing things and because when we talk about small things there should not be laws set in stone.
Asking a coworker out for a coffee and then trying to convince him or her after an initial rejection is not sexual harassment, it is just courtship. Stop considering that everything is inappropriate, because by doing this, you are the ones demeaning women. By feeling the need to demonize everything that a man does you are saying that women cannot handle themselves, and that is just sad. I firmly believe that a woman is not powerless and doesn’t need the HR department to intervene every single time a colleague says she has a nice ass.
I say again, I am not speaking here about actual physical contact and actual physical assault, because those are totally different things and should be treated as they are. No, I am talking here about telling a girl you like her, or that she’s hot. Or, for example, imagine that a guy comes up to a girl and says that he wants to fuck her. Is that rude behavior? Yes! Is that sexual harassment? No!
Not every single interaction we have should be regulated by laws and institution, because we risk losing all our individuality that way. People are different and what somebody considers inappropriate might be considered totally normal by somebody else. So we should stop with this witch hunt for people who were simply trying to get a date and focus on the real abusers. We have to draw a line in the sand and clearly explain that not everything is abuse, not everything is sexual harassment. Some of them are just snowflakes getting triggered and we should never treat their screams so seriously. Stop waiting for society to fix your problems. It is time you discover that maybe some things are actually going on just in your mind…