Why do men give up so easily in the face of #meetoo?

In the last couple of months we have all been witnesses to the endless parade of people accused of sexual misconduct. The list seems endless now and we have witnessed accusations against people from the entertainment industry, politicians, journalists, chefs and many others. I am not going to go into the accusations here and the fact that they turn up to be real or not is not really my concern in this article. Here I want to talk about what makes those accused to give up at the first whiff of any such claim.

Almost all of those accused, instead of trying to fight, just give up and start offering apologies even if they don’t think they have done anything wrong. It’s mindboggling for me to see people apologize for things they don’t even remember, and I am astonished at the ease with which they give up their careers and their lives just because someone says they did something wrong. Again I stress, it doesn’t matter if the accusations are real or not, this is not the issue. My problem is with the apathy and the willingness with which most of these people throw away their lives down the drain.

How did we get here? When did the paradigm shift from innocent until proven guilty to this travesty in which you have to prove your innocence? Think about it, for me it is truly chilling that we have gotten so far down the rabbit hole and that our society today is so willing to vilify and attack based on simple words. I remember a time where accusations had to be proven beyond any shadow of a doubt before they could have effects. And don’t kid yourselves, this public lynching of powerful people is far more dangerous than you might want to accept. Because nobody can give those that are proven innocent their lives back, nobody can roll back time to take away their harm and suffering.

I would feel sorry for them, but unfortunately they are just staying there and taking it. Kevin Spacey apologized for something he does not remember doing. How stupid is that… I don’t remember many things that I did 10 years ago, but that doesn’t mean I did illegal things, that just means I don’t fucking remember. Yes, we all make mistakes, we all do things we are not proud off, but that doesn’t mean we should just crack at the first sign of pressure. If you know you did things that are not correct or maybe even illegal in the past, but you also know that nobody can prove that you did those things, never admit to them, no matter how many people accuse you… It’s as simple as that… It’s the accuser’s job to prove your guilt… If they don’t manage to do that beyond a shadow of doubt, then tough luck, life is unfair and we should have a drink and fucking get over it already…

And this is why I respect Donald Trump, this is why I respect Roy Moore, this is why I respect every person that fights his or her accusers. They fight, they deny, they refuse to apologize before those accusations are proven in court. And that is unfortunately becoming less and less common.  It’s stupid to give up without a fight, it’s stupid to just go down quietly. We have to fight to get back that spirit, we have to fight in order to become what we once were. Nobody should be able to destroy your life by mere accusations, things have to be proven.

With a heavy heart I have to say, based on simple statistics, that the only social category that has some fight left in it are the politicians. They seem to be amongst those rare individuals that still have balls and are not afraid to fight until the end for their right to be considered innocent until proven guilty. It’s really sad to admit this, but I have to say that we have to look up at those politicians and consider them as models going forward. Thank you for this #meetoo, thank you… Goddamnit!

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